The Foley Folo

It's been a few days since we learned of the story of Rep. Mark Foley (R-Fla.) and his instant messages to some pages on Capitol Hill. I haven't written about it until now because I wanted time to ponder and soak in as much as I could.

The obvious reaction, and my reaction, was that this was not good. A United States Congressman should not be asking a page his dick size, or telling him he'd love to slip off his underwear. Foley needed to take responsibility for his actions, and he did so by immediately resigning.

The age issue doesn't bother me too much. The Democrats are teaming up with their most hated opponents – the ultraconservative wing of the Republicans – and painting an ugly picture of a 52-year-old man preying on 16-year-olds. I heard Democrat Paul Begala and conservative Bey Buchanan on CNN. They both talked about the need for using physical violence – Begala advocating the shooting of Foley – in response to what Foley has done. A bizarre marriage.

However, 16 is the age of consent in Washington, D.C., where the incidents happened (in fact, the age of consent is 16 in about half the states); the pages were not underage. Plus, it hasn't been said that he actually had sexual relations with them. A 52-year-old man saying those things to a 16-year-old certainly sounds creepy; but, and this will be for others to figure out, it doesn't sound to me like it was illegal.

Many men crave the bodies of younger men and women. Movies are made all the time featuring some 50-year-old man with a late-teen-early-20s girlfriend. Abercrombie & Fitch has made a fortune selling their clothes to men from 18 to 58 by showing naked 18-year-olds. Then-56-year-old Michael Douglas married then-31-year-old Catherine Zeta-Jones in 2000; Then 64-year-old Larry King married then-38-year-old Shawn Southwick in 1997. Clearly, these are different, as they involve younger women who, while being 25 years younger than their husbands, are clearly adults. I also personally know several men in their 30s and 40s, who date young men in their late teens and early 20s; a couple of which are very successful, high-profile people in the gay community.

None of this, of course, excuses the actions of a Congressman behaving inappropriately; however, it gives some insight into the extent of an older man's yearning for a younger companion.

There's a lot of misinformation being put out there, which is par for the course when any political blockbuster hits. The Dems are saying that the Republican House leadership knew about Foley's sexual advances. In fact, they had no knowledge of any sexual correspondence between Foley and the pages. They most likely knew that Foley had asked one of them for a photo of him, which is inappropriate, to be sure. I'll be curious to find out just who knew what when.

Not surprisingly, they're also painting White House Press Secretary Tony Snow's comment that this was a case of "naughty emails" as the White House somehow condoning the actions. Snow's comment is accurate; it's a case of naughty emails (well, instant messages, but will let that slide). That's what it is. But, the same people who want to put people to death for their political thought (hate crimes legislation) want to condemn Foley for his personal thoughts, not just his actions. For the record, Snow has also called Foley's actions "horrifying," "appalling," "disturbing," and "absolutely inappropriate." Though I certainly disagree with "horrifying."

The political fallout will be interesting to watch. The Democrats are pulling out all the stops to try to win the House in November. They know they can't win on the issues, so they're jumping on misinformation about the NIE report on terrorism, and they're using this scandal to fuel some fire. Still, the Democrats don't have much of a moral leg to stand on; they've had sex scandals too, involving a 22-year-old White House intern and a prostitution ring being run out of the home of one of their members of the House. I'll be curious to see if the Republicans have anything up their sleeves.

I actually feel badly for Foley. My guess is he's a repressed homosexual. So many men and women still believe it's hard to be openly gay. I just wish they could all see the incredible lives that so many of us lead. Unfortunately, I'm afraid this incident, and the venom being spewed by the Democrats and the conservatives, will just push more of them into the closet.

Comments

[Lee]

I agree with you Cyd about Foley being repressed. I also have lusted after some pretty hot 17-18 year olds. Wouldn’t call myself repressed though. (Ever see ‘Two a Days’?)The difference being I lusted, that was that. I didn't send 'naughty' emails, and didn't use a position of power to coerce anyone. This isn’t a right or left issue. The whole thing makes me rather sad. Not everyone is as blessed as you appear to think you are Cyd. Most older Gay men still have to stay in the closet. Especially older gay Republican men who tow the party line.

[Robbie]

You have to admit, watching the gay left team up with the religious right to threaten a purge of Gay Republicans is going to make for an interesting few media cycles.

And by interesting I mean completely surreal and predictable.

[chris]

I think you are intelligent....so I will not push too hard.

It looks like you have a sweet body...and raised NYC Gay Football to a new level. So it would be way shitty, for me to do anything else...disagree fine, i expressed enough.

[Cyd]

How is this partisan??? I said I think the guy should have resigned. I said it was totally inappropriate. I personally don't think the age is the big, horrible thing that others are painting it as. It's not good, it's creepy, it probably shouldn't happen, but "horrifying"?

It's so easy for us to throw others under the bus, but sexuality is a confusing issue for so many. I'd think more gay people would be a little more compassionate, like Andy clearly is.

How am I partisan when I'm just speaking my mind? Oh yeah, because if I'm not a mindless gay person who walks lockstep with the Democrats, I'm somehow evil, dumb, a self-hater, and now partisan. I forgot - when I clarify misinformation and share my own opinions, I should be tarred and feathered. Thanks for reminding me.

[chris]

Cyd, you are just so partisan. This was a bad thing a gay Republican did - and is probably less tolerated by conservative Republicans than Democrats.

Honestly, I do not think at 16 you understand the difference between types of attention - from a Congressman.

Here is a gay Democrat who I think took a very moderate approach.

Finance writer Andrew Tobias of Miami, who is gay and treasurer of the Democratic National Committee said:

``As somebody who has met Mark Foley personally and has mutual friends, I am sad for Mark and I hope he doesn't go to jail. The last time I saw Mark, he was 19 years into a relationship. That was sad that it had to be hidden.

``I hope the Republican Party continues to evolve so it's not so difficult to be an openly gay Republican.

``Will this play into the fears that all gay people are pedophiles? I hope not. There are heterosexual situations as well. Everybody decries this kind of situation. Even Mark Foley did, but he couldn't control it.''

I wish "The Dooryard" took a more moderate approach sometimes.

I am a huge Democrat. But I voted for William Weld while in Mass for grad school. And will likely vote for Arnold this time - primarily cause he hired a Democratic lesbian as his chief of staff (Susan Kennedy), retooled his environment focus and Angelides is awful. Too bad he did not sign the gay marriage legislation - a home run!