The Dooryard

My migraine 'remedy'

I've dealt with migraines for about 15 years. When they first came on, they hit about once a month. Eliminating coffee from my diet dropped it to once every 8-10 weeks. In the last few years, I get them about once every 3-4 months. Knock on wood. 

I've tried lots of remedies including many different medications. I'm always interested in hearing other ideas, since they can be so devastating. But with this process, I've been able to limit their impact to just a couple hours, instead of a couple days. 

When the aura starts, I quickly do these things:

• Take two liquid-gel ibuprofen.
• Do an intense workout for 1-2 minutes to get my heart rate up. I aim for 90-100 beats per minute - get the blood flowing.
• Get in a hot shower and let it warn my shoulders, neck and upper back (I imagine a steam room would work as well).
• I have a glass of water on hand throughout the process, drinking the whole time.
• I then put a damp heating pad across my shoulders and put it on high for about a half hour. After a half hour, I'll put it to medium or low.
• I'll massage my shoulders and neck throughout, as the heating pad loosens the muscles.
• Once the aura has passed, I'll leave the pad on for a while, still massaging my muscles.

For whatever reason, I've found this process helps dramatically. If you have ideas on how to combat the pain, please do share them here. Thanks!

Barack Obama's lecture on creating small businesses misses the true purpose of tax hikes

When I hear Barack Obama say that business owners didn't build their businesses, I instantly think of my father. He is a plumber, used to be on Cape Cod and is now in Maine. I remember as a kid watching him work 10 hours a day, five-and-a-half days a week. And this wasn't sitting at a desk in an air conditioned office. This was manual labor, lifting pipes and risking severe cuts and burns, in the freezing cold, hot humidity, wet rain, scorching sun...every weather condition imagineable. He did it so he could feed his family.

He also paid taxes. Those taxes, to the town, state and Federal governments, helped build roads and bridges. They helped educate his children. They helped educate him. 

Neither my father nor anyone else I know has any problem with paying taxes to do those things. That is the essential function of government. Creating roads, educating children...Despite knowing some very conservative people, I have never heard any of them say taxes should be abolished, or that the government should not have these rolls.

The problem is that the government goes beyond these rolls, and Obama's government goes way behind them. Taxes go to frivolous government research. They turn into government subsidies for the friends of the President and other elected officials. 

When Obama lectures us about the government, not people, building businesses, his underlying message is that businesses and successful people should pay higher taxes because without that government, they wouldn't have a business at all. Business can flourish just fine with limited government; It is the government that cannot grow with limited business. Ask the Russians and Cubans; They have tried.

The deeper problem with his mismanaged statement is the lie about where increased tax dollars go. Obama does not want higher taxes to build more bridges and roads, or increase the ability of small corporations to conduct business. He wants the increased money to hand over to people in entitlement programs. That's the "fair" thing to do, he says. Yet these entitlement programs have never built a single business or created a single job except to manage the government programs themselves. He has no interest in building roads; He has every interest in handing out checks.

It's shameful to see the President try to buy votes with government handouts, all on the backs of my father, my partner and myself.

Talking about gay marriage and our culture of division with Michael Irvin

Over the last few years I've been blessed by a friendship with an incredible man named Michael Irvin. I met Michael through his former radio partner, Kevin Kiley, whom I'd done radio with for years. One of the various reasons I call this man "incredible" is his willingness to listen and discuss issues of the day. Homophobia, sexism, racism, religion...you name it, Michael's ready to talk about it with you, not at you.

Today he and I, along with his radio partner Curtis Stevenson, had a 15-minute discussion on air about Barack Obama and gay marriage. You can listen to the interview, dated May 18, here. The Bible, Manny Pacquiao and TD Jakes all factored into the conversation. And for 15 minutes on sports radio in Miami, we talked about how the lack of same-sex marriage affects our culture and the lives of people.

I've learned a lot from Michael about listening to others. Not long ago I would say I hated religion and resented religious people. Like Obama did with same-sex marriage, I've come full circle back to where I was 15 years ago and can listen to and respect religion. My mind and ears have opened to others almost exclusively because of my long conversations on and off the air with Michael. 

Distracting voters with Mitt Romney's teenage 'bullying,' Barack Obama assaulting a girl and eating a dog

PHOTO: This photo of Romney was posted at the Web site, "Shut the Fuck Up, Conservatives" - lovely, right? That helps the national dialogue.

The Washington Post and others have set out to distract the electorate once again, posting an 11-page story about Mitt Romney allegedly bullying a man who years later came out as gay. The alleged incident happened...in 1965. That's right, when my mother was 10. I wouldn't be born for another eight years. Romney was a teenager. Yet the Washington Post wants to turn this into an election issue. In. Sane.

When the alleged incident took place, Romney was 18. I remember when I was 18. I was a Far-Right religious conservative. I didn't know what pad thai was. I had been outside of New England once in my life. Yet somehow the Washington Post and Democrats want us to brand Romney a bully because of what he did at the same age I was pumping out peanut buster parfaits at a Dairy Queen. 

Barack Obama supports gay marriage. Log Cabin Republicans release sad attack.

I've been thinking about diving back into my blogging for a couple months now. With today's announcement from President Obama of his support for my marriage, I figured it's the right time.

My lack of fondness for the President is no secret. I feel like he's been the Campaigner in Chief for most of his presidency. And I feel many of the promises he made in 2008 have been thrown out the window for new campaign promises this year. On key policy initiatives -- the Keyston pipeline, Obamacare -- I disagree with him. This isn't to say I'm a Romney fan; We'll simply get to him in another post. 

But today I'm proud of the president. He didn't have to vocalize his support for gay marriage, but he did. It made me very, very happy and somehow more fulfilled. 

Catan hits Santa Monica Blvd.

Though Halloween was a month ago, I wanted to share the costume that got me most excited on Santa Monica Blvd. First, if you don't know, West Hollywood is home to a party of a half-million people on Halloween every year. There are sexy outfits and funny outfits. But the costume that got me most excited was a unique Catan costume: and the hexagons even fit together! Oh, you can see a picture of Dan and me headed out on Halloween here. It's Cynthia. Cynthia Dickson.

How you say it is half the message

I don't put much stock in the power of words. The three letters F-A-G just don't mean anything to me. But you put them in context, and they can be harmless or powerful. I was reminded of this watching the new trailer for the Facebook movie and the song, "Creep," that is laid under it. Don't think how you say it is half (if not most) of the message? How do these two identical songs draw out different emotional responses:

New bed and breakfast on Maine's central coast

There is a wonderful new inn on Maine's central coast called Blueberry Fields Bed and Breakfast. It sits on a 10-acre blueberry field in the quaint town of Washington. There are five guest rooms and an incredible common area with breakfast area, lounge and reading nook. And it's located pefectly: Just a half hour from Camden, Rockland and Augusta.

OK, disclaimer: It happens to be built, owned and operated by my parents. They really did a great job. I've heard from various people that they love the place, and the people who have already stayed there raved about it (in part for my mom's blueberry crumb pie!). 

Gym class horror stories

Do you have a gym class horror story? From high school? Junior high school? Even elementary school? Was your gym teacher too much to handle? Did you have taken showers after class? Getting picked last?

I'm working on a project involving gym class horror stories, and I want to hear from you. Please email me at [email protected]. I look forward to hearing from you!

Film reviewers announce head-scratching top-10 films

The film awards season has kicked off and the National Board of Review has come up with a list of top-10 films that defies logic. While I can quibble with the inclusion of 500 Days of Summer or Up or, I really can't roll my eyes because those were fine films. Not top-10, but they were fine. But someone's brain must have been on pause when they included Where the Wild Things Are. There was not a bigger waste of 90 minutes in the movie theater this year than the soulless, meandering picture-book adaptation. The poster was the best thing about the movie.

On the flip side, I'm excited to see Invictus, which the NBR gave high praise. I'm also psyched to see Avatar, which the NBR didn't even see before announcing their awards. It makes the list a joke when they don't even see one of the most anticipated movies of the year before making their top 10.

In the coming days I'm going to start my ranking of the films I saw this year. You'll notice WTWTA at (or near) the bottom.

A week in Oahu

Dan and I spent our latest vacation in Oahu with a couple friends from New York. Maybe it was like a movie that gets over-hyped, but neither of us was too impressed with our week there.

We stayed at Hotel Renew in Waikiki. It was rather chic and we had a nice view of the ocean (and the sunset every evening). Though, we did have some problems: A clogged drain, a leaking shower and music blasting from the neighboring hotel at 7am. It was also a block from the gay bar, Hula's. One of my highlights of the trip was a Saturday afternoon gay catamaran trip, sponsored by Hula's. If you're there on a Saturday, definitely partake: You get to drink maitais and see the island from a beautiful perspective offshore.

One of the best parts of the trip was the golfing. We found a military-run gold course in the middle of the island named Leilehua. It was just $38 for 18 holes: You can't beat that! It's a well-manicured course and is a tranquil respite from the high-trafficked beaches and tourist traps. The trick is, as visitors you can only reserve a tee time the day-of. But we got a tee time every day we wanted one.

Toys For Tots 2009 in New York City

Every year I get tons of requests for info on the gay Toys For Tots party in New York. This year's party will be at Chelsea Piers on Sunday, Dec. 6, 5pm-9pm. It's annually the best party in Manhattan. You gotta buy a ticket and bring a toy to donate.

To buy a ticket, click here.

The best speech yet for marriage equality

Not surprising to me, it comes from an 86-year-old World War II vet in Maine. Every voter in Maine should see this. Please give to equality in Maine! Just 11 days left until the election. And your donation can help!!

Great new dentist in Los Angeles

If you're in Los Angeles and looking for a dentist, do I have the man for you! Dr. Dan Pinar is really warm and friendly and his office prides itself on being low-pressure! He won't try to sell you several thousand dollars of work unless you need it (though he is also a great cosmetic dentist: He just wan't try to tell you you need it). He's located at 8500 Melrose Ave., Suite 203, in West Hollywood (cross street is La Cienega). He takes most insurances.

OK, full disclosure: Dr. Dan Pinar is also my partner, but even if he wasn't I'd go to him! So check out his Web site now and give his office a call today at 310-659-1000.

Now everyone's shouting

Don't count me among those who think the ruckus reception that many lawmakers have gotten at their "healthcare town meetings" is fake or orchestrated. There is a lot of anger out there directed at the Federal government and the ballooning deficit, and this power grab over healthcare is the epitome of that to a lot of people. Still, there have been many (mostly Obama supporters) who have attacked these angry people, calling them (among many other things) unAmerican.

So when I saw that Sen. John McCain was met by a verbal assault from the Left this week, it did feel phony to me. After weeks of the Left attacking people for their loud retaliation against Senators and Congressmen who support Obamacare, they've decided, "Well fine then, we'll just do the same thing." I know there is equally passionate support for some of the general ideas that Obama supports (can't really call it a 'bill' since Obama hasn't even considered putting his stamp of approval on any one bill), but the tactic of shouting at rallies, after weeks of attacking the opposition for the same thing, feels like they're just trying to keep up with the Joneses.

Boies' great arguments for gay marriage

Attorney David Boies penned a fantastic piece in today's Wall Street Journal outlining why he and Ted Olson are taking the gay-marriage fight to the Supreme Court. It's one of the most compelling, well-written pieces on the subject I've seen from anyone!

For the liberal "conspiracy theorists" claiming that Olson is only on board to try to derail gay marriage, the piece certainly contradicts that as Boies embraces Olson (besides, Boies is no idiot who can be duped into taking a bad case to the Supreme court). Boies talks directly about why he and Olson, two old rivals, teamed up for this one:

We acted together because of our mutual commitment to the importance of this cause, and to emphasize that this is not a Republican or Democratic issue, not a liberal or conservative issue, but an issue of enforcing our Constitution's guarantee of equal protection and due process to all citizens.

Brilliant.

It's pretty sad how some gay rights groups are attacking them and then trying to intercede in the case. They realize that they have been sitting on the sidelines, trying to simply shepherd gay marriage with little result...and that this case has the potential to make them sideshows and show just how irrelevant many of them have become.

I hope Boies and Olson are completely successful. To have two men from opposing views come to the same legal conclusion about the importance of my rights would be probably the most breathtaking moment in gay-rights history.

Obama is treasonous regarding DADT

This past Monday, Barack Obama held a reception at the White House for "leaders" in the gay community. In actuality, it was a cocktail party he had with a couple hundred devoted gay followers to make it look like he was doing something for gay people. Many involved with the reception turned around and wrote items and spoke to the press saying how much in love they are with Obama because of the things he said at the event. Mind you, he didn't DO anything. He didn't even PROMISE anything. He just told the people there that they were welcome to be in the White House and that they would be happy with his Administration at the end of it. Can you get anymore vague?

One area where he wasn't vague was national security. About the policy of discharging openly gay people from the military, Obama said this:

And finally, I want to say a word about "don't ask, don't tell."  As I said before -- I'll say it again -- I believe "don't ask, don't tell" doesn't contribute to our national security.  (Applause.)  In fact, I believe preventing patriotic Americans from serving their country weakens our national security.

Let's be clear about this. Obama said he believes that discharging gay people from the military is undermining national security: Yet, he continues to follow that policy! He could stop the discharges TODAY with an executive order preventing the execution of DADT, but he doesn't. When the President of the United States acts against national security, he is failing to uphold his most important job and is acting in a treasonous way AGAINST national security! How this man sleeps at night, believing he is putting his own personal political future ahead of national security, is hard to understand.

While people want the equal rights he promised, Obama just keeps campaigning

I have long been critical of gay "leaders" for cozying up to the Democrats at the expense of furthering gay rights. We've seen it over and over, as HRC and others are willing to sit on the sidelines and wait while the campaign for Democrats who do nothing to further our rights. So I've been excited to see the clear shift in the last few weeks as gay "leaders" begin to hold Barack Obama and other Democrat leaders accountable for their promises to gay people.

After wooing gay dollars and votes with promises to advance eight gay rights, Obama quickly abandoned all of them once in office. He went from opposing the Defense of Marriage Act to supporting it. He went from saying he'd end Don't Ask Don't Tell as soon as he got into office to saying it won't happen for at least two years and failing to stop the discharges (something he could do with a stroke of the pen). To see devout gay Democrats like David Mixner and Corey Johnson and Andy Towle boycotting the DNC gay fundraiser this week is outstanding and shows TRUE leadership on their part!

Meanwhile, Obama thinks he's still on the campaign trail. He thinks that if you just keep talking and promising, all will be well. In the last week, he has tried to throw gay people little bones to make up for it. He granted some Federal workers some health care benefits for their partners. And now comes word that he's throwing an exclusive party for important (read: rich donors) gay people next Monday. This is all, of course, an attempt to continue his campaigning without actually governing and DOING something about his promises. I pray no gay people fall for it, and I'm encouraged to hear others say the same.

'The End of the Line' commercial fishing documentary

I come from two families of fishermen on Cape Cod. My father's family were strictly of the rod-and-reel type: Stand on the shore and cast into the water, catching the occasional striped bass or bluefish or small-mouth bass or trout. My mother's family were commercial fishermen: Drive a boat 30 miles offshore and cast massive nets into the water, scooping up hundreds or thousands of fish in the course of a day. As I grew older, I came to see commercial fishing more and more as a raping of the oceans. A new documentary called The End of the Line will be talking about that starting next week, and I am looking forward to seeing it.

Fishermen on Cape Cod made great livings in the 1980s. I remember the family celebrating huge catches, and those celebrations were weekly. I also remember my family whining about government regulation and pointing their fingers at draggers (instead of casting floating nets that ensnare dolphins and whales, they drag heavy nets along the bottom) when the size of their catches dwindled. I distinctly remember my grandfather telling me, "The more cod you catch, the more there are." His theory was that adult male codfish eat baby codfish; So if you catch more adults, more babies will live. "These scientists don't know anything," he'd tell me. "All you have to do is look at the stomach of a cod to know it's true." I know, it is crazy logic, but it was men like my grandfather who were driving the fishing industry on the side of the fishermen and it is logic like that that drives the raping of the oceans today.

Luckily, the U.S. government did put in regulations on fishing and bought boats from fishermen (including my grandfather) to get them off the water. They continue to limit the amount fishermen can bring in, though unfortunately the fishermen continue to catch and kill huge numbers of fish and throw them overboard before they get to harbor (at least, that's what my grandfather tells me). These aren't bad men, they're just trying to make a living for their families and some of them simply don't have the resources to figure out how to do that without the needless killing of fish.

Hopefully efforts like this film will educate the public, who can push back at the fishermen and get them to change their practices.

Miss California deserves the criticism

I'm kind of surprised by how many people are talking about Miss California's answer about gay marriage at Sunday's pageant. In case you haven't heard what happened, you can read here and watch it below.

A few people have told me that "she should be able to say whatever she wants without being attacked for it." I couldn't disagree more. She absolutely has the right to say whatever she wants. Every American has the right to say what they want; That's what makes our country so great. But NO ONE has the right to say something publicly and expect to be free from criticism.

She could have easily talked about state's rights and living in a country that values difference in opinion, and that would have been a fantastic answer. Instead, she decided to take her own political position (and deliver it really badly); And with that she opened herself to criticism. She didn't have to offer her political opinion but she did, and she says she's glad she did. Many people who are against gay marriage are attacking those who are criticizing her. But why does she get the right to speak her mind and others don't?

I'm glad Perez Hilton asked her the question. I wish he hadn't called her a bitch afterward, but that's Perez.