The Dooryard

Gay leaders: DC Dems get a pass on marriage

Last night was a better-than-I-expected discussion on the 2006 election at the New School. It was, predictably, incredibly slanted, but there were some very smart people on that stage, and I enjoyed the discussion and the conversations that spilled out into the post-talk reception.

One of the discouraging things to me about events like this is the constant referral to Democrats as "we." When I saw that the title of the program was "Victory 2006," despite the fact that seven states passed Constitutional Amendments banning same-sex marriage, I knew I was going to get another ear load of it. There is this callous misunderstanding among so many gay Democrats that every gay person bleeds as blue as they do. Of course, these are the same people who insist that we refer to our "community" as "Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, intersex," making sure that everyone feels represented. But I don't feel represented by all of these gay political leaders who insist on pretending that gay Republicans are rare people who have simply lost their way.

Irreplaceable

Generally twice a year I get super excited to see a movie. Earlier this year, it was Superman Returns, which was totally disappointing. It wasn't a surprise. About three-quarters of the time, when I get excited about a movie, my expectations rise and the movie can't match them.

Now, I'm getting excited for Dream Girls, and it doesn't help that Beyonce's new single, timed nicely a few weeks before the movie hits theaters, won't get out of my head. Some friends of mine have seen the movie, and their reaction has been unanimously positive. Of course, they were all gay men who enjoy musicals far more than I; But, I'm hopeful.

A live version of this great song after the jump>>

Straight studs playing gay

I've somehow gotten on the email distribution lists of a bunch of P.R. firms and companies looking for free publicity. I sympathize with guys like Andy Towle and Steph + Alek, whose blogs traffic are much greater than mine here, and who must get flooded with info and requests. I was glad to get one I received today from A&E.

I've been seeing posters in Chelsea for the network's upcoming movie, Wedding Wars. It shows John Stamos in a tux leaning against a sign that says, "Gays On Strike." Well, I finally understand what it means:

"In 'Wedding Wars,' love, family, politics and marriage rights collide when Shel (Stamos), a gay party planner, agrees to organize the nuptials for straight brother Ben to Maggie, the Governor of Maine's (James Brolin) daughter.  After Shel finds out that Ben, a campaign manager for his future father-in-law, is behind the governor’s speech against same-sex marriage, he decides to go on strike for equal rights. Shel’s strike picks up steam and eventually spreads becoming the epicenter of a nationwide strike for the right to get married."

It's great to see straight actors playing gay roles. Especially guys like Stamos, who are considered somewhat of a heartthrob. And to be playing a character that's fighting for the right to marry - he's not your average Will Truman! Plus, with hottie Eric Dane (Right; I was just watching X-Men: The Last Stand this weekend and marvelling at him), how can you go wrong?

The movie premieres on A&E Monday, Dec. 11, 9pm ET/PT.

Toys For Tots 2006: Where and When

Because I've gotten so many emails and questions about the 2006 Toys For Tots Party for the gays, I'm reposting the information here. It's this Sunday, Dec. 3, 5pm-9pm, at Metropolitan Pavilion in Chelsea.

Unfortunately, I may not be able to attend this year, as my football league's second round of playoffs are at the same time as the party. And whether I'm playing or reffing, I'm sure I wouldn't be welcome with open arms in a football jersey covered in mud. I'll be sending along a football for the kids nonetheless. Afterall, that's what it's about, right? Right?

Log Cabin holiday party in NYC

The Log Cabin Republicans of New York are having a holiday party on Wednesday, Dec. 6, to celebrate the end of what many Republicans might call a brutal year. There will be an open bar, some hot guys, and no speeches!

In reality, LCR should be one of the groups of Republicans to look at 2006 as a positive turning point. The electorate sent some of LCR's most conservative opponents packing, and many Republicans are now looking at an even more inclusive, more centrist front for the GOP in the coming months and years.

I designed this invitation, and I'm actually quite proud of it. LCR, along with most Republicans, suffer from a stodgy image. That image doesn't help with young people, and it doesn't help with gay men. I like this invitation because it's a little sexy without being sexual; And being sexy is simply not a bad thing.

Whether you're a Republican, a Democrat, or none of the above, come out to Opus 22 (22nd & 12th) on Wednesday, Dec. 6. It's open bar from 8-10pm. No speeches, no solicitation - just a good time to celebrate this wonderful time of year. You can RSVP to lcrholidayparty@gmail.com, but it's not necessary.

Sitting upright turned on its head

I have suffered from lower back pain since an Ultimate Frisbee injury my freshman year in college. It has been exacerbated by my work that generally entails long hours of sitting in a chair. A new study has now come out that turns the old "sit up straight" theory on it's head. The study says that a more reclined position is ideal for the back.

"A 135-degree body-thigh sitting posture was demonstrated to be the best biomechanical sitting position, as opposed to a 90-degree posture, which most people consider normal," study author, Waseem Amir Bashir, a researcher at the University of Alberta Hospital in Canada, told LiveScience.com.

I have actually thought that for years, but I always figured I was crazy or doing real damage to my back. When you're upright, your spine and back muscles are working overtime; but when you're leaning back, it's your abs that get the workout. And that can't be a bad thing!

Post-Election "Forum" this Wednesday

There is going to be a panel discussion focusing on the 2006 Post-Election Analysis on Wednesday, Nov. 29, at 7pm. The lead presenter is the Human Rights Campaign; thus, the panel is stacked with Democrats (plus, the moderator is a Democrat - shocker). Log Cabin Republicans are also presenters, so at least a Republican voice will be present. It's at The New School, 66 W. 12th Street (b/w 5th & 6th Avenues) .

Panelists include:
Joe Solmonese -- President, Human Rights Campaign (and former Democrat PAC CEO)
Patrick Sammon -- Executive Vice President, Log Cabin Republicans
Jo Wyrick -- Executive Director, National Stonewall Democrats
Emily Giske -- Member, Democratic National Committee

It will be moderated by Fred P. Hochberg, Dean of Milano, the New School for
Management & Urban Policy, who is a former Clinton Administration official and, of course, a Democrat.

Reception to follow - Free & No Reservation Necessary

Geography: Roatan

It sounds like some fabled land from The Lord of the Rings. Instead, Roatan is one of the hidden jewels of the Caribbean - a long island off the coast of Honduras that I hadn't heard about until last week.

What makes Roatan special is the barrier reef - the second largest in the world, after Australia's - that lies just 100 yards off shore. For a SCUBA diver like me, that is very tantalizing. The beaches are also, by many accounts, to die for; The temperature is always wonderful (it's south of Jamaica), and there seems to be lots to do (hiking, butterfuly and nature gardens, kayaking, swimming with dolphins).

It's also quite appealing because Continental has direct flights from Newark, and it's rather inexpensive (it is, afterall, part of Honduras). We have found a number of two-bedroom houses that rent for under $1,500 per week.

We, along with a couple friends, have decided to head there over the winter, and I can't wait.

It's hunting season

I grew up in a hunting family. Every male, from grandfathers to uncles to cousins, hunted; heck even my grandmothers hunted. To kill a deer was a right of passage into manhood. I remember thinking as a kid that I wouldn't be respected in my family until I killed a deer. The funny thing is, I'm still left wondering if that is, in fact, the case.

I never did shoot a deer, though I went hunting for several seasons. It was always this week. While many of us spend November thinking about elections and turkey and early Christmas shopping, so much of the country has deer and moose and grouse in their cross-hairs. During Thanksgiving week my family would head up to Maine, and my father and I would trudge out in the cold and (sometimes) snow tracking deer.

The only deer I ever saw hunting was on the first day I ever set out. I remember it so vividly. We came upon a cutting and about 100 yards away were five deer bounding through the small levelled trees. Over the next three or four hunting seasons I spent every hunting trip wondering what I would do if I actually had the chance to shoot a deer. I didn't buy into the Bambi argument, but I have always treasured innocent (including non-human) life. I have trouble killing  a spider (which has spurred more than one argument with Dan).

I'm not against hunting in any way. Innocent life is taken every day so I can have a chicken salad sandwich or some boiled lobster, or a turkey for Thanksgiving. I simply don't want to be the one to do it. Staring through the scope down the barrel of a gun, I always wondered if I'd be able to pull the trigger with a live animal staring back at me. I imagine I could do it, but it would haunt me for days and weeks afterward. I remember while hunting that I had wished I had a camera in my hand instead. But, that yearning for acceptance and manhood kept me armed.

I think hunting is a wonderful thing, and is a rich part of American history, dating back far beyond the arrival of Europeans. I simply don't want to be the one pulling the trigger.

Giving thanks while acknowledging the suffering

I learned about Thanksgiving in my Cape Cod elementary school about 45 miles from Plimoth Plantation. New Englanders take that early American history very seriously, and the celebration of Thanksgiving has always been dear to me. It was taught to me as a coming together of Pilgrims and American Indians, before the two sides embarked on a bitter war that waged for two centuries.

Some teachers are now using Thanksgiving to teach about the atrocities of the European settlement of America. There's a fine line here that begs for explanation. The first Thanksgiving supper was, by all accounts, a peaceful one of sharing (actually, there's only one written account of the feast itself, but there's nothing else to suggest that there was hostility between the English and the Wampanoag Indians). The celebration of that meal should reflect the meal itself.

However, the treatment of the American Indians by the Europeans was at times atrocious. The worst atrocity committed by any president was the Cherokees' Trail of Tears, which was an illegal expulsion of the Cherokee Indians from Georgia by President Andrew Jackson (the first Democrat elected president). Many American Indians certainly committed crimes against the Europeans, but to nowhere near the extent that the Whites slaughtered the Indians.

I think it's important that our children understand that history. But I also think it's important that our children be allowed and encouraged to celebrate the positive moments of our history, not just wash over them because bad things happened, too. This Thursday, I'll be thinking of my ancestors on both sides of the struggle (my family goes back to the American Indians and the early settlers of 1620 and 1621), and I'll be thanking them for their contribution to what has become this country I so love.