Integrity

Why can't people just do what they said they were going to do? I have, since graduating from college, put a strong emphasis on my personal integrity. If I say I'm going to be somewhere at 6pm, that's when I'm going to be somewhere. If I say I'm going to do something, then it will be done.

So many people I know have no integrity. They cancel plans minutes before getting together, show up 20-30 minutes late to dinner, or come up with a million excuses for why they just didn't do what they said they were going to do.

I have found gay men to be the worst. The WORST. Things happening in "gay time" has become a fun little inside joke meaning it starts 30 to 60 minutes late. A lot of gay guys think it's funny. I think it's sad.

It seems to me that there are two things at work here. One, a deep-seeded lack of respect for other people; two, a deep-seeded self-absorption that says your time is more valuable than anyone else's. There may be some sick need for attention tied into it, too. I don't know.

Whatever it is, I'm encountering it all of the time. In a city with far fewer excuses for showing up late, people do it here at an alarming rate.

Last night I had dinner with a friend. He showed up five minutes late. Now, five minutes really isn't anything. Five minutes doesn't bother me in the slightest. He still wasn't fulfilling his word, but two watches can be apart by five minutes without intention.

When Matt sat down, he immediately apologized for being late. It was nice. Unnecessary, but nice. It showed me that he, too, takes his word very seriously. And I gained a great deal of respect for him because of it.

My struggle now is to be OK with other people not showing up on time or doing what they said they were going to do. I'm getting better - I'm just choosing to not deal with them anymore or continue to deal with them and take a deep breath when they're 20 minutes late.

Either way, it's a good exercise in patience for me.